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Grave Robberies on the Rise!

Denver police report that a number of bodies have recently been taken from the city cemeteries.

The first victim was Marcus Trent, who died back in '65. The next few victims were all recent interments. Police speculate the bodies were taken for their gold teeth and other personal effects, but this reporter suspects something more sinister is afoot.

A reward of $50 has been offered to anyone who puts a stop to these ghoulish hijinks. The Epitaph will keep you informed as more details become available.

Lacy O' Malley
November, '76

Mysterious Bandit Flees Chicago!

Word has come to this intrepid reporter of a strange story that recently took place in Chicago, Illinois. According to the Tribune, a thief broke into the Chicago Museum of Fine Arts and made off with an ancient book.

An armed guard attempted to stop the theft, but the bandit stabbed the brave man with a long, jagged knife. It isn't known whether or not the guard lived, but he described the thief as a young, wiry fellow with wild eyes, brown hair, a disheveled suit, and spectacles.. The guard believes he broke the thief's spectacles in the shuffle, and a man matching this description was seen boarding a Union Blue train bound for Denver.

Chicago authorities are urging locals to look for anyone matching this description in the High Plains area.

The book stolen by the thief had not yet been identified by museum scholars. All that is known is that it was written in some sort of old Arabic, and bound in scarred leather.

--Chicago Tribune
October, '76


Reproduced with the kind permission of Shane Himself.  Thanks, Shane